Hallelujah! When I think back on books I have read, a phrase, question or just a word often comes to mind. For this month’s book, “Finding Peace at the End of Life- A Death Doula’s Guide for Families and Caregivers by Henry Fersko-Weiss, that word was enough. I’ll explain at the end.
Even though “death doula” practices have been around for centuries, the term didn’t become a job title until 2015 when INELDA- The International End of Life Doula Association was founded by Henry Fersko-Weiss. Now in its 9th year of development, the term is still little known or is misunderstood even amongst people who work in hospice and palliative care. Thankfully, this book is the perfect crash course into all that death doulas can offer families and patients with a terminal illness.
Topics include: finding meaning by creating legacy projects, planning where and how a patient wants to die, honoring the sacred nature of dying via rituals, guided imagery, vigiling during active dying, coordinating after-death care services, and “reprocessing” (reviewing the whole experience with a death doula weeks after death). These are primary services a certified death doula can provide, along with essential skills such as reflecting, patience, planning and active listening. Naturally, they require humility and patience to “master.” The book is also full of patient and family engagement stories, an excellent reflections chapter, and a valuable resources appendix. Read this book and deeply comprehend the dying process, and how engaging a death doula can help make dying surprisingly peaceful.
I was touched that “Hallelujah” – the song by Leonard Cohen – was the one a death doula felt moved to sing to her dying patient, only to discover it was the very song played at his wedding ceremony! It triggered my memory of asking the wife of a dying hospice patient if she would like me to play one of their favorite songs. It, too, was their beloved wedding song. The sharing of that memory and witnessing their love is a gift I treasure, as I do this book. Hallelujah!
This book can be found at your local Lake County Library. Also, check out the INELDA Death Doula Training website https://inelda.org/ . There are also death doulas working in Lake County! Search your local area via the internet for more information.
Until the book ends
Esther Suarez
Hospice Services of Lake County Volunteer