After we die, what we leave (besides stuff!) for others matters A LOT. Since ancient times humans have been writing what is now called “ethical wills.” These wills are an expression of the sacred tradition of passing on personal life stories. Ethical Wills (akin to Legacy Letters) is a testament of life reflections meant to pass on a worthy legacy, because all of our stories matter. In the book “For You When I Am Gone: Twelve Essential Questions to Tell a Life Story,” Rabbi Steve Leder illuminates major life themes. His insightful questions inspire deep reflection. Having helped thousands of people write ethical wills, Rabbi Leder is a master at guiding us in honoring our own personal story. Three of my favorite questions he explores in depth: “How Do You Want to Be Remembered?, Have You Ever Cut Someone Out of Your Life?, What is Good Advice?” Chapters begin with the rabbi’s insights, followed by responses from a broad range of people he interviewed. To conclude, he shares a truly beautiful and heartwarming ethical will addressed to his own family.
When my mother died at 88, one of my hardest moments of grief was placing her picture in my family altar. Full of tears, I found myself repeating, “That’s it…we all just become pictures.” Thankfully, my mother wanted more than to only be remembered from a picture. Years before her death, she wrote an entire book of her healing journey– her version of an ethical will. Her words are always there to gift me peace and inspiration. While not the writer my mother was, with the help of Rabbi Leder’s book, I have full confidence I can create an ethical will. I am happy I will be leaving words of comfort and possible direction for my family when I die. Most of us know the importance of timely completion of advance care health directives, wills, living trusts, etc. After having read this book, I strongly believe Ethical Wills should also be added to that list. Our lives are precious and our stories should be cherished.
Check out this wonderful guide book at your local Lake County Library, or purchase via bookstore or internet. Also, check out Rabbi Leder’s website for my information and other books he’s written. https://www.steveleder.com
Until the book ends,
Esther Suarez
Hospice Services of Lake County Volunteer