My dad wrote WHAT for publication? Sharing our grief can lead to some of the most unpredictable conversations. Why? Because death, for the living, has the power to transport us to the essence of authenticity. Of course, witnessing a person’s authentic experience can be hard. That’s why “Modern Loss: candid conversation about grief. Beginners welcome.” by Rebecca Soffer and Gabrielle Birkner is greatly needed. The modern world welcomes authentic sharing, and this book exemplifies being “candid.” Both the main authors and the contributing writers illustrate traditional grief themes in new ways, while some themes often thought “taboo” are given a fresh perspective. Some of the themes would resonate with any person who has experienced intimate loss, and likely elicit, “I know what that’s like!” Section titles such as “Triggers, Intimacy 1-1+1=?, Journeys, and Secrets” introduce themes not always primary in discussions on grief. In addition, masterfully illustrated comic strips titled “Things to Know Before Scattering Ashes, Survivor Gilt, There’s No Will, What The Bleep Do I Do Now?, and A Brief Guide to Griefspeak” gift us a mini-course on after-death topics.
Having met in a grief support group, the main authors felt destined to co-create this exceptional book on grief for people of almost any age. This book of 355 pages can seem daunting at first, but trust me you’ll whip through it in a jiffy! The book’s format, with less print per page and large page numbers, helps make it an easy read. They also launched an online publication platform where anyone can submit their story on grief for possible publication (mine is in the works!) The website includes great blog posts and resources on “types of loss, hot topics and advice.” See www.modernloss.com
Being a natural prude, just a few of the stories heard me saying “Oh my!” or I laughed out loud. Dave Isay’s comment, from the back cover, rings true: “Modern Loss is book about grieving and death that shimmers with life….. [It] is full of surprises and definitely not your mother’s death and dying book.” However, if your mind is open and you welcome diverse stories about death and grief, you’ll love this book. I loved it as a beautiful reminder of our common humanity. To learn the answer to the question beginning this review, be sure to read the section titled “Inheritance,” and prepare to be amused. Find the book at your local Lake County Library and/or purchase it online.
Until the book ends,
Esther Suarez
Hospice Services of Lake County Volunteer