What happens when we don’t know what happened? Finding closure is one of the essential lessons we learn from death, but what happens when the closure is ambiguous, and hard to come by? After reading “Ambiguous Loss: Learning To Live With Unresolved Grief” by Pauline G. Boss, PhD, a clinical family therapist and researcher, I finally found the closure I was seeking from the death of a loved one.
Dr. Boss coined the term “ambiguous loss” in 1970. The term is fitting because the feeling of ambiguity can be paralyzing when there is no closure after the death and/or separation from a friend or loved one. Examples given include: soldiers missing in action, empty nest syndrome, kidnapping, divorce, brain injury, and Alzheimers/dementia are just some of numerous ways “ambiguous loss” described in this book.
The author says: “If we can learn to accept change we can learn to live with ambiguity.” As is the case with all types of grief, a healthy adaptation to change is at the core of finding peace and closure. This book is an essential read for those still floating in waves of hopelessness and helplessness, not knowing when an answer will be revealed. Dr. Paulina Boss offers a lifeline back to shore and helps us to learn how to move on. Check this book out through the Lake County Library system and enjoy exploring Dr. Boss’ website. https://www.ambiguousloss.com
Until the book ends,
Esther Suarez
Hospice of Lake County Volunteer